exhaustion

I think I have a pretty good life.  A loving husband.  Pretty cool kid.  Awesome family.  Cool friends.  Good job. = pretty good life.  Pretty good life doesn't cancel out exhaustion.  I'm exhausted.  I think my body is starting to feel the effects of being exhausted.  My eyes, back, feet, head, neck, it all hurts.  I'm emotional.  I want to cry at the slightest thing.  My body is failing me with everything I have to do.  You would think that I could sleep but I often lay awake at night not being able to.  What is going on with me?  Is this just part of being a mom?  Does it ever end?  Does it ever get any better?  I'm awake with Zach really early.  He lets me shower while he watches his baby tv.  We eat breakfast, play, and depending on the day either go to day care or stay home and play more.  This morning we stayed home.  I washed clothes, folded clothes, did the dishes, played with Zach, he took a nap.  We went to a meeting at work where he hung out with a friend for an hour, came back home where he took about an hour nap, I finished up laundry, cleaned our room, and got a ten minute nap before he woke up.  Geoffe got home, he offered to let me take a nap but I had just gotten a ten minute one and knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep so soon.  We went to Walmart, came home, I cooked dinner while Geoffe entertained Zach for a while.  We ate, Geoffe took a nap and I took care of Zach.  Bath time, bed time, pick up toys, and do dishes, and now here I am.  Endless cycle.  Laundry, dishes, feedings, cleaning, working, driving, grocery shopping, napping, again and again and again.  I need another break.  To the point of breaking here.  When Zach was younger people would often tell me that it will get easier.  It has.  But its still super hard.  And so here I am, instead of sleeping I vent and wonder if it ever does really get easier.  Or if hard things are just replaced with different hard things.  That to me seems more realistic.  What do you think fellow mamas?  Tomorrow I go to work and Geoffe keeps Zach.  I think I'm going to spend some time reading at starbucks.  Unwind a bit.  It will help me I think. 

I close with this last thought.  I love Zach dearly.  I wouldn't change this exhaustion if it meant not having him.  I'd gladly take exhaustion over and over and over.  His smile melts my heart everytime.  His tears break my heart every time.  He rocks my world. 

I appreciate all Geoffe has done to provide for our family too.  He gets up super early, and I understand he is tired when he gets home.  However, i do long for the day that he has regular work hours again.  I miss him.